I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize