Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
