I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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