my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize