is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
