I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
