your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
