Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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