The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize