please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize