your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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