Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
