it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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