I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Panties = found
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