dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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