you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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