I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
