i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
