I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
