He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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