Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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