You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
