I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
