Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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