his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
