I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
