I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was confusing and full of hummus
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Enjoy the penises
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
