My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
