I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
