His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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