Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
