Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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