Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
