Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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