I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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