My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
