I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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