i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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