i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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