I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
