My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
