what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
