Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
