Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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