Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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