he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
