at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
