You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
