The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
