I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
