i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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