I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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