just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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