It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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