margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My life is pants optional.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize