My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
