I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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