ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
