she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
