i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
